The Case For Social Media Friendships
Girls finding Girls Online
I remember my first friend on Tumblr.
Her name was *Becca. We both loved the emo rock band Pierce the Veil and felt deeply misunderstood in our hometowns. We found each other through mutual reposts and spent hours chatting about aesthetics, music, and sometimes nothing at all.
“How did you know she wasn’t a catfish?” you might ask.
Obviously, 11-year-old girls know how to talk on the phone—on pink Razr flip phones, no less.
I am the first person to criticize the toxicity of social media.
But I am also the first person to say loud & clear: social media is the only thing in history that connects humans across the world through consensual, mutual interests.
By the tap of a screen.
Becca and I followed each other for years. Not just on Tumblr (our sacred little corner of the internet), but later on Facebook, Instagram, and Snapchat as we grew up. We supported each other from afar, sharing secrets about boys, dreams of the future, and a shared love for rock music. And yet, there were so many gaps in what we knew about each other. I didn’t know her major in college or her middle name. Let me emphasize this: we never met in real life.
But plenty of my online friendships have crossed, and those connections still feel just as special.
I recently read a post titled “Babe, just delete your Instagram already” by the marvellous
. I laughed and related. Hard.“I started telling absolutely everyone about how much better life was Instagram-free. I practically begged my friends to delete theirs and discover how much calmer and carefree they felt.”
It’s worth noting that heavy social media use has been linked to increased feelings of anxiety and loneliness. Studies even show that excessive scrolling can rewire your brain’s reward system, making it harder to focus or find joy in real-life interactions.
And yet, social media has also taught me that humans are wired for connection. Mutual interest. Especially when you are far away from those who feel the same way as you do.
I’m not sure where Becca is in this world now. But I’m so grateful for our youthful, pure connection. Nothing more than reposts and kind comments because well- often, as a teenager, it is easier to be yourself online.
Years passed and I learned the power of social media for networking and sharing my creative work. Countless connections, jobs and mentors have come from simple cold DMs or “hey! I love your art!” comments on strangers profiles.
As TikTok went down this week, part of me felt relieved because well, I’ve built a community on there that is hard to keep entertained.
But another part of me mourned the connections. I couldn’t help but wonder how many friendships were severed or may never come to be.
Do you know the power of fandoms?
Of online games and groups and clubs?
Or even just shared knowledge?
We need interpersonal relationships, even if they start through an app.
In the end, it’s not the platform but the person on the other side of the screen that matters.
*Obviously I changed her name for privacy purposes
when I was in high school I connected with someone running a fan account. Even after her account went dark we continued to follow each other on our personal accounts. To this day we still like each other's stories and posts.
Meatpacking district 👍 we are friends with all humans 🫶